The Misadventure of Konohamaru
by Klei
Summary: Konahamaru and the gang escape Ebisu and head to the training field, only to find a nosebleed-worthy sight. Before the next day, everyone in Konoha thinks Naruto is pregnant. Oneshot, SasuNaru, lemon-ish, rated M.


**The Misadventure of Konohamaru**

_In which Konohamaru's gang goes to the training field after evading Ebisu… And witnesses Sasuke and Naruto doing the naugty-naughty. XD SasuNaru oneshot._

**A/N**

**YAY! Another story! WOOPEE! This takes place in shippuden, and Sasuke is back in the village. Rushed, I know, but it was one of those "I-was-bored-so-I-wrote-something-stupid things."**

**Naruto: I wanna be seme, not uke! You're mean!**

**Deal with it.**

**Sasuke: Honestly, can you see ME on the BOTTOM? I'm an UCHIHA!**

**Naruto: What about Itachi?**

**Sasuke: He paints his nails and has a ponytail.**

**Naruto: B-but I have spiky hair!**

**Sasuke: Your hair is blonde, your eyes are blue, you're shorter, and you wear orange. For that I thank Kishimoto-sama!**

**Naruto: -.-'**

* * *

"Yes! We got rid of him!" Konohamaru said happily. "Bye-bye, closet pervert!"

"You just copied what Naruto-nii-chan said about him…" Udon responded, but didn't argue his case further.

Moegi laughed. "Well, now we can just hang out at the training field until he finds us, right?"

"Yup!" Konohamaru replied with a smirk. "But Moegi, you really didn't have to kick him between the legs…"

"But did you see the way Ebisu-sensei's face scrunched up like that?" Moegi insisted. "It was awesome!"

Udon simply sweatdropped, and Konohamaru laughed insanely.

"Come on, we're practically there," Konohamaru said, walking around a tree, before suddenly stopping, eyes wide, and quickly retreating back behind the tree.

"What is it Kon- Oh my God," Moegi gasped, nearly screaming the words as she hid with Konohamaru.

"What is it?" Udon asked, before looking around the tree and just staring. Moegi pulled him back around so they wouldn't be seen.

"Are they…" Konohamaru began slowly, "doing the birds-and-the-bees thing?" Quietly, he looked back around the tree, and sure enough…

"Ah… Sasuke…" Naruto moaned. "What if we get caught? Other people-AH!-train here…"

"Then we get caught. I made a bet with Neji that I could screw you at least once an hour for three days, and I don't plan on staying cooped up at home while we do it!"

"Ahh… Hah… You could have asked me… Hah… Bastard… Oh, yes, hit that again! AH!"

* * *

"EBISU-SENSEI!" Konohamaru called out to the man asking around to see if anyone had found 'his disobedient team of genin.' "NARUTO-NII-CHAN IS GONNA HAVE A BABY!"

"WHAT?" Ebisu gasped, falling over in shock. "What nonsense is this?" _That brat? That student of Jiraiya? I knew it! I knew one day he would become a sick-minded hooker-hiring pervert like his sensei! I KNEW IT! I'm gonna go give that no-good Sannin a piece of my mind! Wait, how do they know? _"Who told you this?" Ebisu asked the group, still suffering from shock.

"We saw Naruto-nii-chan making one!" Moegi replied. A crowd was forming around them, and parents were covering their children's ears. "He was doing the birds and the bees!"

"Wh-what?" _Such innocent youth, scarred for life! GAH!_

* * *

"JIRAIYA!" Ebisu snapped at the sannin as he sat behind a fence, desperately trying to peek into the woman's bath. "How dare you taint such innocent youth with your foul actions?"

"SHUSH!" Jiraiya insisted. "Or they'll hear you!"

"Because of you, Naruto has been doing terrible things with women in public places!"

"What? Naruto?"

"According to Konohamaru, Megumi, and Udon, they saw your student 'doing it,' in the training field!"

"No, it had to have been someone else," Jiraiya replied simply, turning back to the hole in the fence."

"On what do you base that assumption?"

"Naruto is homosexual."

"…What?"

"He likes guys."

"…Care to run that by me one more time?"

"Naruto. Is. Gay."

"HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW?"

"He recently told me he and Sasuke were together… Don't tell anyone else, though. The girls may get upset… Either that, or they would stalk those two and sell videos of their private interactions for big bucks…"

"You've got to be kidding… Then what were those three talking about, then?"

"Did they specify who Naruto was 'doing it' with?"

"Now that I think about it, their exact words were, 'Naruto is having a baby…' " Ebisu thought. "You don't think…"

"I think you're right. Naruto IS uke, after all… A tidbit of information I learned after 'accidentally' breaking into the Uchiha mansion…"

* * *

"Konohamaru, Moegi, Udon…" Ebisu addressed with a cough. "Umm… How should I say this… Naruto isn't having a baby."

"But we saw-" Udon insisted, but was interrupted.

"Males can't get pregnant. It's physically impossible."

"How do you know?" Konohamaru asked, annoyed. "Let's ask Naruto-nii-chan!"

"Hey, wait, don't!" Ebisu insisted, but they ran off before he could continue. "Ah, well… Poor Naruto, although it is his and Sasuke's fault for doing such a thing in a public area… I'll have to talk to those two about how there's a time and a place for everything… ESPECIALLY that…"

* * *

"NARUTO-NII-CHAN!" Konohamaru called as Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura walked in the distance, chatting.

"Eh? Konohamaru? Moegi? Udon? What are you three doing here?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah, shouldn't you be training with your sensei?" Sakura added, confused.

"Naruto, Ebisu-sensei says you aren't pregnant after all! Is it true?"

Naruto just gave a blank stare as he slowly realized what they just said, Sakura was as confused as Naruto usually was when asked a question that he should know but didn't because of all those skipped academy classes, and Sasuke sighed, knowing that Naruto was going to make him sleep on the couch for having sex in public and being seen.

"Wh-what gave you that idea?" Naruto asked nervously.

Moegi replied with, "We saw you and Sasuke doing the birds and the bees!"

His worst fears realized, Sasuke stood stock still. This was his fault, and he had to take responsibility… Lest Naruto condemn him to a year without sex… One… Long… Year…

"You and Sasuke did WHAT?" Sakura screeched, unable to believe it. "Sasuke-kun, say it isn't true!"

"It's true…" Sasuke replied solemnly. Sakura's suffering was DEFINITELY the lesser of two evils.

"Uh… Uh… Uh…" Naruto quickly tried to think of something to say. "No, I'm not… P-pregnant… I'm a guy, that's impossible…"

"But you did the birds and the bees!" Konohamaru insisted. "You're pregnant and I know it! You need to go to a hospital for a safe birth, and you need to make sure to buy formula and baby-food, and-"

Naruto turned red. "Baka! I'm not pregnant, plain and simple!"

"But-"

"END OF STORY!" the blonde insisted, walking away.

* * *

Somehow, Sasuke knew this would happen as he forked the money over to Neji. "So, things didn't go as planned?"

"Nope… After round five on the first day, Konohamaru and his two pals saw us doing it and decided Naruto was pregnant… Now everyone in the village thinks it, too, because that's what Konohamaru's been telling them. One lady even asked him how many months into it he was…"

"Don't they realize that he's a boy?"

"Apparently, no. And now I can't do him for six months, as punishment for the mess I've gotten him into."

"Bummer."

"I know," Sasuke sniffled with anime tears.

* * *

**A/N Okay, story is complete! WOOHOO!**

**Naruto: -punches Sasuke- BAKA!**

**Sasuke: SHE MADE ME DO IT!**

**Konohamaru: Here, Naruto-nii-chan! I bought a bottle for the baby to drink from!**

**Naruto: GAH!****EXTRA A/N THAT WAS ADDED LATER!**

* * *

**Sorry about the name mix-up! I didn't realize it until MoonRose9 pointed it out! Doomo arrigato! Next time I'll make sure I don't call Moegi Megumi! ^-^'**


End file.
